Encyclopaedia of Doom: Dark Lords to Genies
by FeareDeath
Summary: AU. HBP didn't happen. Dear old Voldie gets transformed into a Djinni by Harry, Ron and Hermione. Yay! Wishes anyone? On hold so that I can do my other fics. Plus the fact that my brain's turned to mush where this is concerned. Gah


**Voldemort the Djinni.**

**Summary:** AU. HBP didn't happen. Dear old Voldie gets transformed into a Djinni (Genie) by Harry, Ron and Hermione. Yay! Wishes anyone?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. That would be JK Rowling. I don't even own the plot – it's a challenge from Aurilia – check out her page, it rocks. All I own in a pair of purple striped socks. I'm depressed.

**Prologue**

Harry, Ron and Hermione were sitting around a fire that they'd made to keep them warm.

Hermione told them, 'We can't do any magic, the Ministry can sense it. We'll have to live like Muggles. They also know where we are if we say Vold— I mean You-Know-Who's name.'

Ron asked, 'Why would the Ministry want to know where we are?'

She replied irritably, 'Oh honestly Ronald, you _know_ that V— I mean You-Know-Who's taken over the Ministry. They'd be after us in swarms if they knew where we were. And if they knew why we were here.'

Yes, it was true: they were looking for Voldemort's Horcruxes.

Ron muttered something incoherent.

'Sorry, Ron?' Harry said, 'Didn't quite catch that.'

'I _said, _"If only we had a non-evil genie that would destroy the Horcruxes for us so that we could stop hiding".'

Now Hermione looked interested; she perked her head up and listened intently.

'But … genies only exist in stories like … like … _Arabian Nights_ or something … right?' said a confused Harry.

Hermione demonstrated her I-Know-Everything tone. 'No, not exactly – the word "Genie" is actually another way of saying "Djinni", which means "An invisible spirit believed to inhabit the earth and influence mankind", which is another way of saying that they grant wishes. Ron, what do you know about Djinni?'

'Err … well, Mum told me that Genies are the result of an ancient Sumarian justice-spell. If someone had committed a specific number of illegal acts, the ancient Sumarian government would bind the soul of the perpetrator, making them grant the wishes of the victims of their crimes. Once the wishes of their victims had been addressed, the genie would sometimes be released from the binding spell, though not always. Particularly bad criminals would be bound to a physical object, forced to grant wishes for the rest of eternity. And that's all I know really.'

Hermione was getting excited. When Harry asked her what was wrong, she jumped up and said, 'Don't you two see? We can use this to bind V— I mean You-Know-Who! I – I – I have to go check something!'

* * *

Two hours later, they heard a cry of elation. Hermione ran out of the tent with a book in her arms. 'Yes! I've found it! We just need to make this potion, and perform this spell and – and – oh.' 

Hermione deflated. Ron stood up and asked, 'Hermione, what's wrong?' and Harry picked the book up from where Hermione had dropped it.

'The – the – the potion is far too difficult for us to brew – I don't even know what half of these ingredients are! – and the spell requires a blood-kin, a Muggle and a pure-blood.' Hermione dissolved into tears.

'Well, there's only one thing to do then,' said Harry, grimly, looking up from the book _(Evil Spirits Out To Get You?)_

Ron and Hermione looked up. 'What?' they asked.

'We'll have to go visit Snape.'

A pause …

'WHAT?'

'Think about it; the potion if too hard for _us_ to brew, but Snape's a professional Potions Master,' said Harry, 'and the book says someone of Muggle _blood_, Hermione, that's _you _– you're a Muggle-born. And I suppose that, in a way, I'm his blood-kin, 'cause of that ritual in fourth-year. And Ron's a pure-blood.'

Hermione's face lit up. 'That's it! You're right, Harry!'

Ron's face looked grim at the thought of seeing Snape again (part of the only reason Ron came along with Harry was so that he could get away from Snape), but he nodded. 'I'm in.'

'Let's go.'


End file.
